I LOVE new pajamas. Or as my little family affectionately calls them, “jim-jams.” You know how unresolved trauma from childhood has lingering effects into adulthood? Well, I have pajama trauma. When I was about 7 years old, my parents had to attend an out of town funeral and entrusted my brother, sister and me to the care of family friends who had two daughters about my age. All was fun and dandy until bedtime rolled around. You see, my mom had bought me a brand spankin’ new pair of pink Strawberry Shortcake pajamas. My little insides gushed with anticipation of snuggling up in them. So after my bath, I raced to my room to discover my sweet, soft, cotton-candy pink pajamas adorning the gangly arms and legs of my playmate. Her eyes flashed a look of victory. And sadly, it was her mother who had sanctioned this. Crushed, I slipped into my worn red flannel pajamas, forever changed.
I have replayed this event over and over in my head – to my family, friends, strangers – anyone who would listen. Really, what is the big deal? Why did this have such an impact on me? As I have gotten to know myself a little better over the years, I now know that my love language is gifts. In short, this means I give and receive love via gifting. So to me, those pajamas were more than just sleeping attire – they were the screams of “I LOVE YOU!” from my mommy, hundreds of miles away. Screams that were stifled the instant that kid stuck her bratty body through my top. And now, as a mom, I can view it all from a different perspective. That lady had no personal vendetta against me. I now chalk it up to a misstep of a mommy, who in her eagerness to bathe and bed five children, failed to notice which pajamas were whose. And in her defense, I never expressed my hurt or desire to wear what was rightfully mine.
So what have I learned from this? Well – kids can be mean, and grown-ups make mistakes. Two truths which, sadly, still endure today. So as I strive to impart this wisdom to my two little lovies, I keep their top drawer stuffed full of cute, snuggly jim-jams – enough to share with a friend.
Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’ s teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head and [Strawberry Shortcake pajamas] to adorn your neck. Proverbs 1:8-9 To learn more about love languages, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com
Written By Tanya Showen
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